• Women, Sex, and Addiction, A Search for Love and Power, shows women how they can learn to experience their sexuality as a source of love and positive power and sex as an expression that honors the soul as well as the body....

  • Many Roads, One Journey; Moving Beyond the 12 Steps, paves the way for a new and broader understanding of recovery that involves both personal and social awareness. It empowers individuals to find their own voice and their own sources of strength and spirituality to guide their healing. Combining careful analysis, moving stories, and Dr. Kasl's...

  • Finding Joy, 101 Ways to Free Your Spirit, offers practical ideas to enhance the playfulness, creativity, honesty, and self-acceptance essential to bringing new joy to our lives and relationships....

  • This DVD includes the inspiring stories of two groups of women who have used the 16-step program for moving beyond addiction and overcoming trauma. With humor, heart, and determination, their stories convey both the spirit and the content of this powerful program. Based on researched criteria for overcoming trauma, addiction and depression these stories show...

  • If the Buddha Got Stuck, is a wise yet lighthearted book that will speak to anyone who's ever experienced being stuck in life and wanted to break free. With her signature clarity, wisdom, and warm heart, Kasl presents readers with seven steps that tap into life's bigger picture: Notice Where You're Stuck; Show Up; Pay...

  • The wise and insightful If the Buddha books have won Charlotte Kasl thousands of devoted readers. In her latest work, she turns her attention to parenthood, a stage of life that leaves most of us searching for answers. If the Buddha Had Kids applies Kasl's signature blend of spiritual guidelines, exercises, and practical advice to...

  • A Home for the Heart, A Practical Guide to Intimate and Social Relationships, is a clear affirming book that takes readers by the hand, empathizes with their fears, and helps them learn how to relate to others in ways that are appropriate, honest, and nurturing....

  • If the Buddha Married, Creating Enduring Relationships on a Spiritual Path, is a fresh and inspiring guide for anyone who wants to strengthen, deepen, or revitalize a relationship. This is a wise and trusted guide through the joys and thickets of relationships that last and grow....

  • If the Buddha Dated, A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path, is about creating a new love story in your life. It teaches that when you stay loyal to your spiritual journey, you will bring curiosity, fascination, and a light heart to the dating process...

Commit to living your truths

Truth is alive, dynamic and always changing. To live our deepest truths is to become one with our integrity, power and love. Truth winds its way through our lives at many levels: Telling the truth about the facts of your daily existence, where you went, what you spent, how many fish you caught seems like a simple enough task, but many have trouble with this. They often embellish or diminish their life story by taking a major detour from the truth.

Truth is about tuning to your wants and needs. What movie do you really want to see? Where do you really want to go for dinner? Who do you really want to spend time with? What sparks your interest? Attune to your body and feelings: pay attention to when you are tired, hungry, sad, or happy. How do body sensations signal what you are feeling? Chest constriction often signals fear; a knot in the throat might be related to sadness.

Opening to truth begins by understanding your motivation and reactions to various situations. This requires a fearless look at ourselves. Ask yourself, “Did I say that to make him feel guilty?” “Did I hold back my feelings of frustration so she wouldn’t get upset or leave me? What kind of work or living situation is best for me? Where do I feel a sense of belonging? Living your truth also means becoming aware of other cultures, religions, customs, beliefs and social traditions. This includes opening our eyes to injustice, discrimination, poverty and the complex interconnections between them all.

Remember you are part of a greater whole — the one unifying energy that lies beyond your thoughts, emotions and conditioning. Explore your relationship with truth. When we were younger, our need for our parents’ love, care and protection led us to develop deep instincts about what got us attention and acceptance, or possibly protected us from our parents’ anger or violence. If you knew for sure that you’d get spanked for admitting you broke something, it made sense to lie to protect yourself. If you were teased or called a cry-baby for being upset, you may have donned a mask of happiness or cheerfulness. These survival strategies may have become life-long habits.

Opening to the truth means questioning all the conditioning, beliefs and concepts superimposed upon your true self then practicing new behavior. Here are some fears you might question: If you feel that you’re being disloyal or committing a crime against the powers that be, you need to ask “Is this fear rooted in the past or present? Am I pretending to be happy when I’m really angry, because my parents punished me for being angry? What would happen now, if I let someone see my frustration or hurt? Is it really so dangerous in this situation?”

If you fear loss or rejection when you set limits or you say yes when you want to say no, then you need to surround yourself with people who support your honesty. If you fear expressing your desires, you fear making someone upset, hurt, defensive or angry. Explore your reasons for this. Are they old habits that served some childhood purpose? How does this lack of assertiveness keep you from feeling strong, centered and in charge of your life? Part of living by your truth is remembering that sometimes, we get a yes and sometimes, we get a no.

A starting place for learning to decipher your truths is to imagine an energy or brightness meter inside you that goes from one (low), to ten (high.) Notice which people and situations lead to feeling bright, energized, uplifted and nurtured. Notice what leads you to feel drained or empty. Then take the leap and go toward that which nurtures, sparks and helps bring you toward your aliveness and power.

It will take a repeated effort to remember that the voices that chide you into making you believe you’re being selfish, mean and unkind are just old tape recordings from the past. Take notice of them but don’t take them seriously. The trade-off for living your truth is that you get to have more personal power, joy and love in your life.

Most of all, remember that by living a truth-centered life, you will move from fear, anxiety and regrets to a life filled with fascination, curiosity and awe! Your body will relax and as you step beyond your conditioned old self into the stream of life where you become a source of inner happiness and peace.

Published in New Living Magazine

4 Responses to Commit to living your truths

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  • Derrick says:

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  • Melissa Mcgee says:

    Yes this is true

  • Annette says:

    I’m Looking @ answers for a topic I’ve been given to speak on. The topic “finding my truth” very deep as I look for answered I see me totally naked and alone.

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Charlotte Kasl

Charlotte Kasl, MA, PhD
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